AWOOoOoOooooOOo

I’ve been looking forward to The Wolfman for an age! Originally scheduled for a November 2008 release the movie will finally hit screens on February 12th. Starring Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins and Emily Blunt, the film is a remake of the 1941 classic horror of the same name.

The trailer hit last August and I was excited to see glimpses of a movie that looks stylistically similar to one of my favourite films of all time, Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula (1992). Full of opulent houses, murderous shadows cast by candlelight and Victorian melodrama, director Joe Johnston has chosen gothic romp over a complete re-imagining of the Wolfman myth. This excites me for two reasons...1) I love a gothic romp any day of the week (just ask any of my friends) and 2) Just hearing Anthony Hopkins snarling his dialogue at Benicio Del Toro is enough to give the premise artistic gravitas....ok and thirdly or 3) Danny Elfman, one of my cinematic heroes, maybe scoring the movie. I say maybe because there is conflicting information as to whether the music he has written will still be used.

Head on over to http://www.thewolfmanmovie.com/ for all things lycanthropy and a link to a rather cool website dedicated to the classic horror movies of Universal Pictures.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch, this won’t be another Van Helsing CGI wank fest, but we’ll have to wait a few more weeks to find out.

I told you, my name's not Susan y'all. And neither's hers...

I’ve left it too late to post anything special on this here blog, so I’m just gonna talk y’all bout my unofficial theme song.

I ran a search for ‘My Name Is Not Susan, It’s Cassius’ today on that google ma wotsit and lordy me, I found this video of Whitney Houston (who sung that cover song of ma mama’s hit ‘I Will Always Love You’) singing bout how her name isn’t Susan. Just like me!

So I thought y’all might like to hear Whitney lolly gagging bout people mistaking her name. I just wanna say it happens to me everyday Whit, don’t get no easier neither. Anyways enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKi5tyUnDIk

PS Blame True Blood for my Louisiana accent on this here post. I can’t stop it for love nor money y’all.

Still got six lives left

17.20
Should have left twenty minutes ago when Rochelle emailed me but continued to faff around the house. Cards..check. Keys...check. Oyster travel card...check. Mobile phone...check. Quick wee...check.

Say bye to Dais and scoot out of the door. Run down to the bus stop to find there are no 55’s running. WANK! Ok, I’ll head straight to Dalston and meet her there instead. Exhibition doesn’t start till half seven so there’s plenty of time for food beforehand. Run to the bus stop on the other side of the road. 236 approaching...via Dalston. Yesssss. Bus doors open, better check with bus driver first.

‘You need the other side mate. I’m only going to Hackney Wick.’

Shit. Shit. Shit. What a tit! Ok need to cross the road. Rochelle is ringing me!

‘Hey, yeah no 55’s...Shall we just meet in Dalston instead?...ok cool...yeah...I know I should of left earlier blah blah blaaah....Roch, I’m such an idiot, I just tried to get on the bus heading in the wrong direction ha ha haaa...I know...’

Step out in the road looking in the wrong direction. Then...
1) Wheel runs over my left foot and left knee hits cold metal.
2) Loud WHACK as side mirror hits my side and sends my mobile flying
3) Body twists and nearly knocks me off my feet

Split second passes and I realise what’s happened. I’m ok. I’m alright.

Taxi driver glares at me through his window and points at my mobile phone still flipped open on his windscreen. I hasten to retrieve it, conscious that my body isn’t hurting and I can still move my toes. I start to walk away when I hear a voice shouting after me.

‘Oi, you can’t just walk off!’

Dazed, I turn and realise it’s the rather irate taxi driver.

‘I know...I’m sorry...I didn’t mea...’

‘You’re an idiot mate. You can’t just damage my taxi then walk off.’

‘I know. I should of..’

‘Who’s gonna pay for this?’

He points to his side mirror pushed in from its regular position, the mirror loose. I walk towards him whilst he continues to voice his disgust.

‘Well, you just have to push it back in.’

The mirror pushes back in easily and slides back to its correct angle to the car.

A few seconds pass and the driver, unable to retaliate to the resolution I’ve just given him, continues to shout abuse at me. I attempt further apologies, as I know it’s my fault.

What a twat. Me I mean, for being so bloody stupid and not the man giving himself a hernia in front of me.

‘Look I’ve apologised sir...if you would just listen to me for a second...you ran over my foot sir!’

It’s not until much later when Rochelle recounts the incident (my phone still connected even after a tumble in the air and a brief joy ride on a taxi windscreen), that I realise that my argument sounded like I was a 1920’s duke defending his honour.

‘That was the politest arguing I’ve ever heard anybody argue ever’, laughs Rochelle.

Anyway, the taxi driver can only hear his own voice and jumps back into the car. This point I’m getting a little angry so I decide to voice my frustration.

‘You haven’t even asked if my foot is okay you....you...knob.’

Pathetic. I skulk away suddenly conscious of the attention I’ve attracted from the bus stop. Thankfully my pride is conserved a little by the man monitoring the buses.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine thankfully. I could have been killed. It was my fault I know.’

‘Don’t tell him that,’ he exclaims clutching his clipboard. ‘He wasn’t looking either.’

I feel a little relieved and sit down on the raised flower bed outside Hackney Town Hall, checking my foot and body haven’t been damaged under the mask of adrenaline pumping through my veins.

I’m good.If this were a cartoon, this would be the point where He-Man and Teela would appear and give the moral of the day. But as such it isn’t, so I’ll just say...’Buggery bollocks. That was close.’

OMG FYI LMAO!

Oh my God, Oh my God you guys! Legally Blonde the Musical was like totally fantastic, easily the best thing I’ve seen at the theatre for ages. It’s energetic and camper than an evening spent watching Ugly Betty with Perez Hilton.

Sheridan Smith is intoxicating as Elle Woods, originally made famous by Reese Witherspoon in the 2001 movie, and rightly deserved the standing ovation she received at the end. She holds the audience captivated through a two hour tour-de-force of outrageously catchy songs and witty dialogue. The audience couldn’t help but whoop during There! Right there!, with the lyrics ‘Is he gay? Or European?’, or guffaw at the ridiculous Bend and Snap (which fans of the film will delight in).

The production doesn’t rely on outlandish staging or cheap parlour tricks to entertain. The cast and chorus have so much talent and energy it feels like you’re watching the theatre equivalent to Red Bull.

If all this sounds a little too girly or annoying, you’d be wrong. The pace and ingenuity of the material will delight a huge demographic. This is blockbuster theatre and will surely make Sheridan Smith a huge star.

Head on over to www.legallyblondethemusical.co.uk/ for a closer look.

The show is currently booking until October 2010 at Savoy Theatre, Savoy Court, London WC2R 0ET

James Cameron's globes!

Congratulations are in order for ol’ Jim lad Cameron for winning Best Motion Picture – Drama for Avatar at this year’s Golden Globes. The awards, which took place yesterday in LA, also saw Cameron take home the Globe for Best Director.

I’m not sure how I feel about Avatar winning Best Drama. Don’t get me wrong, it is a beautifully realised adventure film but it didn’t really have the emotional punch that I was hoping for. Having seen it on IMAX 3D, I was gobsmacked by the grandeur and scale of Cameron’s production but it wasn’t anchored by an engaging enough narrative. I can understand that with all the technical spectacle on offer James Cameron probably felt it best to use a classic narrative structure, not unlike the monomyth simplicity of Star Wars, but for all the 3D melodrama I was left slightly cold by the time the credits rolled. Anyhow, I’ll be seeing it again soon so hopefully I can forget the hype and let the story win me over.

In reference to the box office success of Avatar, which is hot on the heels of Titanic’s colossal $1.8 billion, film companies have set about ‘3Ding up’ some old favourites in preparation for re-release. I’m particularly excited to hear that The Lord of the Rings will be re-released as a 3D spectacular. WETA DIGITAL are currently running test footage of battle scenes in 3D, so look forward to Orlando Bloom being even more annoying than usual as his bow and arrow are thrust in your face! Other movies mooted for 3D re-releases include Star Wars, The Matrix and that other classic fantasy film, Top Gun (yeaaaaaaaaaaaah).

After recent news that both director Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire are off Spiderman 4, who is to take over and in what direction will Sony decide to take the franchise? These are serious questions folks that require serious answers. I have heard rumours, mainly thanks to Empire Online, that Robert Pattinson is being sized up for the role of Peter Parker. Surely not! I can just see him pouting as his spidey senses start tingling or frowning as he wrestles with his inner turmoil.

I think the general direction that the studios want to take the franchise is a ‘gritty’ origin story, similar to the Batman reboot, but do we really need another dark take on a comic book hero? I personally felt that the tone of the Spiderman films, particularly the first two, suited the subject matter and more importantly were fun. With so many realistic, almost ‘kitchen sink’, dramatisations of fantasy and comic hero material it’s always good to enjoy real popcorn movies. That was why I loved last year’s Star Trek reboot so much. Good old fashioned adventure with wit and daring do.

Anyway, let me know your thoughts. Post a comment below or on my facebook page.

Off to see Legally Blonde The Musical tonight (ooohhh get me).

CONTRAry to your knowledge...

CONTRAry to your knowledge

Ok I know I promised a post every day, and as penance I will be posting two today (my first will be music orientated which will be followed by a movie post later on this afternoon). In my defence there was a lot of haggis and Scrabble to distract me in Camden last night!

So yesterday, Daisy and I headed over to Somerset House to catch Vampire Weekend perform a free gig in celebration of the release of their new album Contra. The follow up to 2008’s self titled smash, Vampire Weekend have built on their unique sound to deliver a genuine antidote to the extreme cold weather we’ve been having recently. My personal highlights are White Sky, California English and the stormin’ first single Cousins. I have to say I wasn’t particularly into this song when I first heard it but it is KILLER live, definitely the highlight of yesterdays set.

Playing from an opulent balcony in the main square, framed by decadent pillars and the occasional pigeon gatecrasher, the band played tracks from both albums. Unfortunately there were some technical difficulties towards the end, leaving front man Ezra Koenig (isn’t that an actor from Star Trek?) to ad lib some wise cracks whilst ‘techies’ fixed the sound. Luckily all was resolved and the band managed to play ol’ favourite Walcott as a crowd pleasing finale. I think the new songs are going to go down a treat at festivals this summer.

Ahhh I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it, because one of my favourite bands of all time and space are gearing up to release their new album Head First. Goldfrapp have just posted the cover to the album on their blog, which you can catch at www.goldfrapp.com/blog. This is the official press release for the album...

‘Head First’ is Goldfrapp’s most powerful trip to date, a speedy rush of synth optimism, euphoria, fantasy and romance. With life affirming lyrics and stellar production it lifts off at full tilt and takes us on a journey to the heart of 2010.

The album is released through Mute on March 22nd and a tour will follow later on in the year.

All that’s left for me to say is if you still haven’t registered for Glasto and are thinking of going, make your way over to www.glastonburyregistration.co.uk/ as a ticket resale should be taking place very soon.

And finally, here is a short playlist of tunes that I think will kick start your weekend, which doesn’t include any Ellie Goulding or Marina & the Diamonds as I just don’t get them (sozza Radio one)...

Poison Lips – Vitalic
I’m Not Sorry – The Cocknbullkid
Watchadoin’ (Villains Remix) – N.A.S.A. Featuring M.I.A., Santogold and Spankrock
Zero (RAC Remix) – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Drummer – Boys Noize
Let’s Go Surfing – The Drums
Counterpoint – Delphic
Rhythm of the Night (Digital Mode feat. Marteen) – Corona ; -)



Ciao for now x

PS Don’t forget to follow me if you’re enjoying what you read

In the beginning...

Before the dawn of man there was nothing but stars and dust.
That's right stars and dust....and maybe little bits of meteor shrapnel from God’s morning bowl of muesli.
And on this meteor shrapnel rode a life form not unlike a younger, slightly cheekier looking David Bowie.
His name was Susan, SORRY, Cassius.
Riding the meteor like a Sherbet Dib Dab across the Cosmos, blowing camp kisses at Uranus, he landed on the newly formed Planet Earth. High fiving Buddha and standing proudly on espadrilles made from the tears of Virgo, Cassius exclaimed...

'This Earth will never do. I shall return once there are things called streets, where people will shuffle about shouting bloody murder at over packed buses. Where cinemas will provide shelter for rampaging chavs with sticky underpants. Where bars are full of wanks dressed like Napoleon Dynamite with moustaches stained with houmous, their Dutch bicycles neatly chained up outside with baskets overflowing with chick peas. Yes, I shall return once this has been achieved.'

And with that Cassius flicked his fringe out of his eyes and soared back into the Universe to dream away the next millennia.
So exodus, exodus, exodus, parting of the Dead Sea, Russell Crowe as a Roman general, blah, blah, blah, Victorian ankle blushing, penny farthings, War! (What is it good for?), Britney Spears and Big Brother...and he's back. This time to forge a career amongst the honest, ever so frustrated at the economy but enjoying Friday night, people of the 21st Century.

Yes, hello everybody, welcome to my blog. I've decided to set one up to practice my writing skills and voice my opinion on everything from BBC documentaries to Lady GaGa’s nether regions. From the film scores of Clint Mansell to Davina McCall’s workout DVD’s. Literally, I’m just gonna be whoring out my opinion on pop culture in general. Plus, this shit looks good on a CV!
I’m gonna try and update it everyday...no scrap that. I WILL update this everyday (PMA PMA!) from my icy lair in Hackney. So please leave feedback or suggest things that you might like to read about.
I hope you enjoy it. And if you do, pass on the good word.

Love Susan...SHIT Cassius. Sorry x