The many merits of Grease 2

'Whoa oh, turn back, Whoa oh, turn back the hands of time. We'll turn back!'
Michelle Pfeiffer and Maxwell Caulfield, Grease 2, 1982.

As the Easter holidays approach, I’m reminded of the films that helped pass away the days off from school. Between watching Return of the Jedi from a base I’d created out of duvets and chairs, to feeling a little sick from the multitude of Easter eggs that I’d scoffed in front of Beetlejuice. Grease 2 has always shared a special place in my heart.

You may be smirking at my admission but I believe this 1982 classic is the ultimate bad movie. What’s not to love? From the dizzying choreography of ‘Score Tonight’ to the show stopping ‘Girl for All Seasons’, this musical delivers. Not to mention it’s the film that introduced the world to the talents of Michelle Pfeiffer. I will even lay my reputation on the line and state that her character, Stephanie Zinone, is the coolest unsung heroine of modern cinema! That smile, that dress sense, that sassy way she demands more ketchup. Don’t believe me, then watch this little clip…



In Grease 2 we find the role of girl wants boy reversed. When Michael Carrington (cousin to Sandy Olsson no less) arrives from England to join the unruly teenagers of Rydell High School, he quickly falls for the head of the Pink Ladies, Stephanie Zinone. Unfortunately nobody but a member of the T-Birds can date a Pink Lady. To make things more difficult for Michael, Stephanie has an image of her perfect man that doesn’t quite match his preppy A-grade persona.



Wow, what a killer song. Anyway, needless to say Michael sets about transforming himself for Stephanie. Not exactly a positive message about being yourself, but I guess deep down we’d all like to be someone’s ‘Cool Rider’.

Grease 2’s pièce de résistance comes in the number ‘Reproduction’. Substitute teacher Mr Stuart attempts to explain the birds and bees to his class but quickly falls foul of the student’s lustful drives. Watch out for the girl with pigtails in this scene, she steals it.




'(Love Will) Turn Back The Hand Of Time' is probably the most honest depiction of love ever committed to screen. Forget Bogart and Bergman, Mitchell and Leigh, or Kate and Leo, this is the real deal...



Ok, so it’s not a perfect movie and regrettably for the majority of people it will never compare to the original Grease. For example, the new T-Birds, led by Jonny Nogerelli, are as cool as John Prescott doing the conga. And I have to skip the song ‘Do It For Our Country’ for fear of losing my lunch down my cardigan. Plus, Maxwell Caulfield has the singing voice of a fourteen year old going through puberty. But these are just minor flaws in an either wise masterpiece of bad cinema.

The likes of Glee and High School Musical should look on in awe at the magnificence of Grease 2. A timeless love story, full to the brim with show stopping numbers and the coolest chick this side of Kate Moss. So to paraphrase Michael Carrington ‘I think it’s kind of terrific’.

Trashed Nash for Clash

No this is isn’t a response to a smutty Sun article about gynaecology. I am in actual fact talking about the Clash of the Titans premiere last night.

I had originally intended to watch Kate Nash filming the Album Chart Show at Koko in Camden but then I learnt Sophie Ellis Bextor and…shudder…Scouting For Girls were also playing. So I decided, guiltily, to ditch Miss Nash for a chance to glimpse the celebrities treading the red carpet in Leceister Square.

I wasn’t disappointed. The gardens in the middle of the square had been fenced off and transformed into a ruined temple with collapsed pillars and cracked steps. Bursts of pyrotechnic flames licked the celebs and lucky punters as they made their way up the steps and along the gangplank into the Empire.

First up was Gemma Arterton, looking rather foxy. She made apologies for not stopping for autographs as she was due on stage at the Garrick Theatre, where she’s currently starring in the Little Dog Laughed.



Nicholas Hoult, Jason Flemyng, Alexa Davalos, Mads Mikkelsen and director Louis Leterrier all scooted into the screening. But most of the excitement was saved for man of the hour Sam Worthington, who plays Perseus in the movie. Apologies for the poor footage but he was too busy listening to his lady friend and the crowd were too busy with their bleedin’ umbrellas. But here y’are…



I have to say, despite the scale of the premiere, the atmosphere was no where near as electric as the Kick Ass premiere the previous week. Though I guess the presence of Brad Pitt kind of elevates any function. I was only there for about five minutes when the bearded one strolled past.



I haven’t had a chance to see either movie yet but my Easter pennies will be well spent at the cinema over the next week.

Bag of goodies

Just like a party bag at the end of an afternoon of musical statues and one too many jammie dodgers, I’ve got a few surprises for you...

First up is the teaser trailer for comic book adaption, Scott pilgrim Vs the World. Due out in August, Michael Cera stars as Scott Pilgrim, bassist for the garage band Sex Bom-omb. When Scott falls for Ramona Flowers, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead, he quickly learns that love can be tough, really tough. Check out the trailer here...





If you’re half excited as I am about Clash of the Titans you might wanna slip on your sandals and head on over to the official website at http://clash-of-the-titans.warnerbros.com/. There’s the regular mix of trailers and downloads, but most enticing of all is a preview of the full blooded movie soundtrack. Matt Bellamy of Muse fame was due to contribute to the score but has since been replaced by Massive Attack’s Neil Davidge. Check out the track Be My Weapon, it’s not particularly ancient Greece but it’ll make an awesome slo-mo sequence! The movie is out on Friday 2nd April but I sat down Sam Worthington to find out what to expect from the epic blockbuster....ok I'm not really interviewing him but it's a good interview anyway.





If you haven’t seen the promo for Hot Chip’s latest single, it’s a doozy. I really wish this would happen to JLS...





Eeee there’s a lot of videos on here today isn’t there? Anyway that’s all for now, Katie Price is distracting me with her lazy mouth on ITV2.

Have a Heather Locklear Saturday

Wow, look at her go....

What has happened to Tim Burton’s ‘muchness’?

There was a time when a Tim Burton movie wasn’t defined solely by the number of twisted trees strewn about a gothic looking set. He was a unique storyteller with a penchant for the hauntingly peculiar and a talent for creating characters and fantasies left field of mainstream Hollywood.

His films embraced the outsider, and emotionally navigated us to look beyond image and archetypes to reveal the true horrors that we dared not admit. In Edward Scissorhands, the real monster is the paranoia of middle class suburbia and in Beetlejuice, the materialism and excess of ‘yuppy’ culture. Burton created visceral fables that took on the darker side of humanity but with charm and daring.

So it’s with much trepidation that I no longer hold faith in Burton as a storyteller, especially after the lifeless Alice In Wonderland, a reimagining of Lewis Carroll’s fantasy masterpiece. It is such a frustrating and bizarre experience (and not in a good way) that I wanted to scream ‘OFF WITH HIS HEAD’ when the credits rolled.

In Burton’s Wonderland Alice is now nineteen and about to be engaged to a particularly snotty nosed gentlemen. To avoid her rather public proposal she escapes back down the rabbit hole and re-enters the Wonderland she has dreamt about since she was six years old. There Alice battles to reclaim her ‘muchness’, as the Mad Hatter puts it, by becoming the challenger to end the tyrannical rule of the Queen of Hearts.

Critics are citing that the film is visually stunning but potently lacking in narrative flair. I agree with this, but even the visual aspects of the film lack the drama and spontaneity of Burton’s earlier work. Sure there are some moments of Burton’s genius, particularly one scene where a shrunken Alice uses the submerged heads of the Queens victims to cross the castle moat, and the sumptuous garden party scenes that bookend the movie. But it all feels a little generic considering his earlier creations. There are few surprises and an extremely disappointing climatic battle that had me seething at Disney for allowing another bastardisation of a literary classic. I still haven’t forgiven them for The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

With such acting pedigree as Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall and Stephen Fry bringing life to the 3D characters of Wonderland you are left feeling curious as to what went wrong. It’s only by the saving grace of Matt Lucas as Tweedle Dee/Tweedle Dum and Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts (though she’s suspiciously similar to Miranda Richardson’s Queenie in Blackadder II) that the movie doesn’t fall flat on its face. Mia Wasikowska is engaging as Alice but is left with very little to emotionally contend with once she’s entered Wonderland. But surprisingly of all, Jonny Depp’s interpretation of the Mad Hatter is completely wide of the mark. Sporting a look that wouldn’t have been out of place on Madonna’s Sticky and Sweet Tour, his characterisation slips from wide eyed goofball to muttering Highland warrior. I thought the Mad Hatter was plain loony, not William Wallis in disguise!

As a 3D experience it lacks the awe of Avatar’s production values, Wonderland seems fairly insular when compared to the vastness of Pandora. And I doubt you’ll be making repeat visits down this rabbit hole.

I’m such a huge fan of Tim Burton’s work up until Sleepy Hollow that I almost feel guilty writing this review. I just feel that he’s fallen into the same CGI trap as Spielberg and Lucas. I’m hoping that he’ll return to more dynamic storytelling for his next film.

Mothering Sunday

I’m writing this as I take refuge from the fake tan shenanigans of Dancing On Ice. If I have to look at that child snatcher in disguise, Jason whatever his name is, one more time... I will officially gauge out my own eyes and throw them at him.

I’m not a fan as you can tell. Unfortunately my Mum is. And to make matters worse she’s making digs at me during the ad breaks, like, ‘That’s how I like your hair, why don’t you have your hair like him?’ And, ‘I hate those bloody boots of yours.’ Thanks for the style tips Mum. I’ll be sure to have my haircut like a thirteen year old trumpet player and purchase Clarks slip-ons as soon as I get back to London.

Mothers are funny creatures. If you’re like me, you’ll miss your Mum like mad when she’s not there, but as soon as you go home she’ll annoy you to the point of mercy killing. So far this weekend, we’ve had a debate on the merits of seatbelts (Mum refuses to wear one whilst in the back seat), argued over how many grapes I’ve eaten from the fruit bowl (hardly any!), and fallen out over the artistic licence of Gary Lucy wiggling his prop to Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick (I had to leave the room during that routine).

The point is I love my Mum (I bet you didn’t see that one coming). Despite how much I have to bite my tongue to prevent it striking down on her like a fiery cat o’ nine tails, she makes me laugh like nobody else. Not many Mums are good at doing impressions of bald eagles whilst running down a hill. Plus, no one makes roast potatoes quite like her.

Today was great because as I had the opportunity to visit my Nan who I haven’t seen in ages. Visiting her is very much like the opening scenes of Hobbiton in The Fellowship of the Ring. I tower over her like Gandalf does Bilbo and I’m forever bumping my head on her sloped kitchen ceiling.

My Nan is so precious and not just because she looks like the lead singer of Hot Chip albeit bigger glasses and silver hair. She is one of the sweetest people I know. She even managed to get me emotionally involved with the Catherine Cookson adaptation on TV that she's gripped to.

I always imagine her saying goodbye in her sweet little Nan voice, then letting rip like Catherine Tate as soon as the door closes behind us, ‘WHAAAAT A FUUUUCKIN’ LIBERTY!’

So here I am sat in fear in my old room, the muffled whoops from the studio audience of Dancing On Ice, sending shivers up my spine and I contemplate rejoining my Mum on the sofa. That Blur documentary is on later, hopefully Mum will have gone to bed and surrendered her monopoly on the Sky remote. Still can’t complain, she made a bloody good roast this evening. I wonder if there are any grapes left?

MGMT new song!

On Monday I listed ten songs to kick Spring into gear but with the release of MGMT’s new song Flash Delirium, I’m gonna bypass Spring and dive straight into Summer. This is a ‘delirious’ neon wave of sonic surf....it’s just bloody brilliant in less pretentious terms.

The new album Congratulations drops on April 13 but you can download Flash delirium at www.whoismgmt.com

Tron_Legacy

It’s definitely Jeff Bridges season, what with his Oscar win and now this full trailer for Tron Legacy. It’s the sequel to the 1982 Disney hit that tells the story of Kevin Flynn, a gifted programmer who finds himself transported inside a computer mainframe, battling against other programs to prove that his original work was stolen by a colleague three years ago.

There’s loads to get excited about, including Jeff Bridges sporting a digital facelift, serious retro action and some hot chick on a couch with UV tube lighting as a top (actually that’s standard issue in the mainframe). But most exciting of all is that Daft Punk are writing the score , with a possible Tron themed tour to follow.

The original movie was hardly a box office sensation but Disney are obviously confident that this will be a major success. The film is slated for a December release, a typically hectic holiday season, and will also be released in IMAX 3D. Get excited right here....

http://www.program-glitch-esc.net/

Tunes to put a spring in your step

Sitting on a park bench in London, I raise my face and let my tired skin bask in the warmth of the sun. Could it finally be Spring? The birds are singing sweetly in the branches and dew glistens like tiny gems sprinkled over the grass. I have a sudden urge to get up and run like a mad man across the green, arms outspread like a plane. Unfortunately my limbs aren’t playing ball. It takes a lot of effort just to reach up and rub my sore temples in reconciliation for drinking too much last night.

Because I’m so hung-over, it takes some time for me to realise that there is something very small and white hopping and bounding up the path towards me. I blink several times, desperately trying to lubricate my dry eyes. I squeeze them shut and rub them hard for a few seconds.

My eyelids flash open and focus in a white rabbit with large worrisome eyes, lilywhite fur and a herringbone waistcoat with gold buttons. Strangest of all the rabbit is muttering to himself and staring intently at an iPod adorned with hearts.

‘I’m terribly, terribly late! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The Queen will be most displeased with me...’

The poor thing suddenly realises I’m sat there, watching on in total disbelief (I’m never drinking Vermouth again). He lets out a high pitched squeal, drops the iPod and disappears down a hole hidden at the bottom of a large tree.

‘Silly rabbit,' I mutter as I reach over to pick up the iPod and earphones. My stomach lurches and I topple back onto the wooden bench. The screen on the iPod lights up and I place the earphones in my ears (I hope I don’t get ticks). I close my eyes, taking in the glory of the Spring sun and listen on...

Alice’s Theme by Danny Elfman
Danny Elfman is responsible for some of the most beautiful and haunting scores in Hollywood having written music for Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice and Batman. This track from the new Alice In Wonderland movie is a return to form for the long time Tim Burton collaborator, having produced rather half hearted scores in recent years. A stirring mix of female choral harmonies, whirlwind strings and bold brass beckons the listener to ask the question ‘Alice dear, where have you been?’

The Walking Dead by Weird Tapes
Nowhere near as gothic as the title suggests, The Walking Dead is a sprightly electro track in a similar vein to Crystal Castles. Perfect for strutting along garden paths or sipping on lemonade whilst watching Skins on Channel 4 OD. Listen at http://www.last.fm/music/Weird+Tapes/_/12+The+Walking+Dead

Frost Satellite by Radiant Dragon
Just what the doctor ordered. I would heartily recommend listening to this track whilst collapsing in a field full of hay and watching the clouds roll by. Oh, you live in the city? Ok, try spread eagling on your bed instead whilst soaking up the dreamy vocals of London based Ming Long. Follow him at http://radiantdragon.blogspot.com/

Postcards From Italy by Florence and the Machine
Never heard of this artist. Don’t think she’ll amount to much. It’s the B side to her 2008 single, Kiss With A Fist and it’s a cover. Anyway give this rare track a listen to...but only out of moral support mind. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p5l6tRzpD8

Rocket (Richard X One Zero Remix) by Goldfrapp
Richard X bloody loves the eighties, so it’s no wonder he’s remixed the nostalgic sounds of Goldfrapp’s new single Rocket. The new album Head First is out on March 22nd but you can download this remix for free at www.amazon.co.uk/Rocket-Richard-One-Zero-Remix.

One by Yeasayer
The sonic and hipper cousin to Paul Simon’s 1986 hit ‘You Can Call Me Al’, Yeasayer have delivered the first party track of the season. Makes me want to get Chevy Chase round to blow on my trumpet....um scrap that last line. Watch the classic Paul Simon music video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULjCSK0oOlI

Cranberry by The Ruby Suns
The Ruby Suns are a New Zealand group that toured with The Shins throughout Australia in 2007 (there’s an interesting fact to drop at the dinner table this evening). This psychedelic slice of indie pop sits well with the current wave of MGMT sounding bands. Listen at http://www.myspace.com/therubysuns

No Hassle by Robyn and Diplo
The Swedish songstress with the most...ess(!) has collaborated with dub step guru Diplo and has given us No Hassle, a swaggering street wise pop gem. Download at http://kickinthepeanuts.com/?p=7135

Tightrope (ft Big Boi) by Janelle Monae
If you’re missing the heady funk of Outkast then this is the perfect song for you. 25 year old Janelle has the star power of Beyonce and the dance moves of James Brown. This will have you dancing like Tina after downing a pitcher of Red Bull. Check her out at http://www.jmonae.com/